Hi, I'm Dr. Mary Louder, and welcome to my podcast. My name is Mary. Perhaps you've heard of me. If you've read my memoir this summer, then you know that's the opening line.

Today's podcast episode, however, I'm going to do something a little different.
It's a solo check-in and a little story time from the road or maybe from the pool,
the podium, but always on my path and purpose. And so I'm calling this episode what I did on my summer vacation. And I promise you it's more about soul than scrapbooking as of course. So, so let's begin.

This summer I swam a lot. I spent hours at our local aquatic center and I was doing
lap after lap after lap in water that really just held me like a gentle therapist. I didn't expect that and I didn't expect to necessarily find my meditation there, but I did. And it was the rhythm of the stroke and the breath and the silence under the
surface. It all became a bit of a prayer in a movement style of meditation. While in
that Zen mode, though, some things quieted on the inside and other things were brought into clarity. 

What I know for sure is you've been if you've been feeling frazzled or overextended and, you know, really who hasn't, let this be a reminder that sometimes the
stillness looks like a motion that's graceful, grounded and repetitive. Amidst the splashes and the creativity kept flowing too, and I continued to come up with
ideas about writing and podcasting and things to share through our blogs and our newsletters. And so there's quite a number of those. If you haven't checked those out lately, go to our website, sign up for our newsletters and be on our email list. You'll find stories and insights and always rooted in the kind of medicine that really sees the whole of you. 

And I've tiptoed into some social media. It tiptoed into TikTok, as it were. There's
always Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and LinkedIn, but TikTok's a new platform for me. So follow along, engage. You'll find me at Dr. Louder TikTok and My Anxiety Code. And really what I'm doing is putting authenticity against
the algorithms. 

And so I want to speak about that a little bit because the social media noise has really been tugging at me, especially when opinions come out and are shouted as facts, the false promises that are wrapped up in fonts and misinformation, and those technically and factually spread faster than the facts and truth. So we don't need more noise, what we need is a resonance and the
information to be accurate. And that's my goal is to be sourced in integrity and bring this out as a voice into the social media. 

So kind of born out of my frustration, but also born out of just a desire to be truthful and to bring that to, to the community, to people at large. I also had the opportunity of going to the University of Montana in Missoula, which is one of my favorite places in the whole world. It truly was a full circus-- It was not a full circus. It was a full circle moment, a moment coming back into those halls, giving some lectures and in services, both to undergraduate and graduate students. And there were reunions with friends and family and of course the land and celebrating just being there itself. 

And all of those moments that week I was in Missoula were very nourishing for me. And it was just beautiful to be there. The weather was perfect. And I was able just to be on campus. And it reminded me of where I've been, where I've come from. And then all the changes that have occurred as well. 

Releasing my book was also really, really important, Anatomy of a Soul's Calling. And I'm still kind of absorbing that a bit. But I really am proud of that work and I'm proud of the people that have read it and provided great feedback, how it's been very insightful and helpful to them. 

In the swirl of that, I had the opportunity to speak with my friend's husband and he read the book, and it actually was quite moving for him. And he had to take some time apart the next day to travel off into the mountains and process some things about around the time when he lost his parents. And then we had a long discussion about it that evening. And it was just really moving to me to understand how my words, the experiences that I've been through, can be impactful for others. And so that was very, very encouraging. 

I think my most important trip and well, not--maybe not most important, but my most fun trip was a road trip that I took to Iowa City, Iowa in mid-July. Andy and I have been following the WNBA. Of course, we've been Caitlin Clark fans for years. And, you know, I actually have Indiana fever gear on nearly all the time. And she's just such a phenomenon. And she is just such an amazing person as well and completely inspiring. And she's created an absolute buzz and stir in the women's sports world, rightfully so.

But that storyline was unfolding, because here she was her second year in the WNBA, and then she got injured. And at the same time, what came out was a book about on her game, and that was written by Christine Brennan, who is a USA journalist. And she's a very famous journalist. She's covered the Olympics. She's been well known for decades. But as that storyline was unfolding, it really affected me deeply.

Caitlyn and the Indiana Fever lit up the court. They created a buzz and a change within our culture. And, you know, as I mentioned, we had been a fan, not just from the stats, but from watching this young woman take up space unapologetically. She was there. She was unstoppable. So when Christine Brennan
released her book, I decided I'd get in the car and go to where there was a book signing in Iowa City because the Iowa coaches for women's basketball were going to be there. And so for me, that was representation. 

I drove out there and I was Mary from Michigan. And I'll tell you what, that got me a lot of attention in a good way when I started talking to people, because they were like, you drove all the way from Michigan. I'm like, why not? Because there literally wasn't a book signing in Michigan, and the closest was Indianapolis, which, you know, just a couple hours later, I'd be in Iowa City. So I figured it was really, really worth a drive. And it was, the windshield time was really a lot of fun. 

But what I learned was that representation matters, visibility heals. And I really was touched by the conversations that occurred in that book signing. And I was able to talk to the author herself and talk about women's sports and talk about the effects of her words. The book is just brilliantly written. And then also speak to both coaches, Jan Jensen, who's the current coach in the University of Iowa, and Lisa Bluder, who is the former coach. And it was one of those times when I had just that
level three conversation with each person that was just absolutely so memorable. And it was just inspiring to my life. And I think that was the highlight of my summer. And I think the highlight of the last few years as well. So that was really, really neat. And the road trip turned out beautifully. The traffic was great. And it was just a wonderful time. 

And I move then into more, like I mentioned, some of the social media and TikTok,
storytelling, and finding a way to connect with people. And it's been fun and a little
bit of terrifying. I've had some things go viral and some things go flat. And it's, you
know, people say you're at the mercy of the algorithm, which I think is true, and I'm not sure any of us understand the algorithm, and it boils down to a bit of a numbers game.

But what I know is that speaking into that space, bringing the message of clarity and information and integrity about being informed as a patient, Being able to make your choices as a patient, working with your physician or your provider in a way that really meets your needs, not just here's a diagnosis, here's a pill, here's a test, do this, do that. No, I don't want to know about this. Oh, there's nothing wrong with you. It's all in your head. Those days really do need to be behind us. And also just the ability for patients to make their own decisions and shared decision-making and informed consent is just absolutely important. And so those are things that I feel passionate about and really got some clarity about over the summer.

But I noticed that as life has gotten fuller with all the things I'm doing, the travel and the teaching and the creative projects, There's some other things that are happening. I'm not quite ready to name yet, but what I've known is that I have to,  something has to give, right? You can't just keep doing more and more and more, or giving more and more, it depends on which direction you're going, because there's only one of me. And what I've decided is with the podcasting to just decrease the cadence of it. And so we were aiming for one every three weeks and we moved up to every other week. Then we had a lot of interviews and then some people canceled. And that really, when I begin to look at all the different projects, each one of those projects as a component of my business, are really quite significant. You might call them activity or cost centers. They require just a lot because you have to market for each of those. You have to plan, you have to administrate, you've got to budget. 

I know none of that's new for you, folks, if you run a business and own businesses and understand it. But what I've decided is trying to find exactly where I can get my most message out and be the most focused with the things that I want to say and what I want to do. And so that's teaching, that's writing, that's speaking, and caring for folks who would see me in consultation. So as a result, what I'm going to do is slow down the release schedule of the podcasting. I'm not going to stop, I'm just going to soften it up a bit through this next seasons of growth.

And as I record this now, our fall weather is in full bloom. We've got the air that is just crisp with... you know, apples that are ripening. And I think of all the times that I worked at the orchard growing up, Robinette's orchard. I'll shout out to Robinette's in Grand Rapids. and the cider pouring cider and pressing cider and sorting apples and making donuts and waiting on customers. Those were some of the best years of my growing up time for sure, always the fall. But we've got that crispness in the air now. A super moon, we're going to have three super moons in a row, that means the moon is closer to the earth, it seems bigger, even though the moon doesn't change in size, but it seems bigger. And that always brings kind of a power of recalibration and of reflection. 

So I'm going to leave you with this as I just kind of wrap up some of my thoughts today. Continue to engage. Read our blogs, our newsletters, our posts, stay connected, because healing isn't just the supplements or the tests or the pills or the potions that I can hand out, or even the knowledge that I have. It's about relationship, it's connection, the courage to tell the truth, the kindness to listen when someone else does, and also the kindness to listen to yourself. Self-compassion, that's the gentleness you have. 

I think my hours in the pool with self- compassion. Also, that was fierce compassion, self-compassion, because I put boundaries down. Oh, this is my time. Nope, you can't reach me. Phone is off. It's away. Fierce self-compassion, really creating that place and space where you take care of yourself. So if you need something that's warm and honest to hold on during this season, let it be this, something that I firmly believe. You're not broken. You are becoming. And this story that's both yours and the story that's mine for me is still unfolding. 

So thank you for being here and listening. And thank you for being a part of this healing movement of Cairn Medical. And I appreciate you listening to the podcast. You know, like and review. That always is helpful. And look forward to sharing you again with one in just a few weeks from now. Take good care.